My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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