Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
jump out the window naked night went bad
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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