Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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