I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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