All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
