Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
