I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
