i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Couch. On fire.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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