well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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