My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
