If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
