He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
