ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
look no pants
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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