the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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