Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
