Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
