this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
