We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
