My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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