I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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