Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize