Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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