I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
