well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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