i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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