You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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