dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
