since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
