Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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