I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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