when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
