Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
