I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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