I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize