she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
