i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
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he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
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I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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