so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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