Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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