You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize