u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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