I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
