Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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