for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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