can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
