wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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