I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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