Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
