If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
