JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
