When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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