How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
