ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
