Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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