we made out on top of his cat.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
