So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
