I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He did a backflip because drugs
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