ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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