you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
